Dear Concerned Citizen

Dear Concerned Citizens,

Please understand the difference between “happy” and “healthy”. When you've got the flu you probably feel miserable with it. You have body aches and you just wait for the tidal wave to pass, but I've been sick for years. That flu that you felt for about a week, I feel every single day! That is not to discount anything you go through in pain, but I want you to understand the depth of what I go through.

Sometimes I am just so miserable it is incomprehensible even to me. But, I can’t be miserable all the time, in fact I work extremely hard at not being miserable. I work extremely hard to be happy and healthy beyond the limitations of lupus.

So, if you’re talking to me and I sound "happy," it means I’m happy. I'm happy to be alive. I'm happy for my next breath. I'm happy because in spite of it all I still stand. That’s all. I may be tired. I may be in pain. I may be sicker than ever. It may hurt to simply breathe.  But, Please, don’t say, “Oh, you’re sounding better!”  I am not sounding better, I am sounding happy in spite of feeling completely miserable as my body's war rages inside me.

Thank you! I know you mean well, but it is becoming increasingly difficult to hold my tongue while dealing with you not thinking before you speak.

Sincerely,
Me