Dear Lupus Silly Lupus

Dear Lupus,

Sometimes the pain you put me through is so evident inside that in my mind I believe it is seen by all who look at me.

I mean, I feel like all who look at me can see the war raging inside. Like they can see and feel the piercings...the stabbings and the throbbings. Almost like they look right at me and can see the explosions that occur just when you throw the bombs at my organs or when you decide to cut me deep with butterfly rashes onto my face.

I feel like everyone can see exactly what I feel, but the reality is that most times they can't.  They can only imagine through what I release. ... most times until you rear your head on my face and body with rashes they have no clue.

See..... the jedi mind tricks that you put me through sometimes has my head spinning. It makes me wonder if people can see the pain in me. Are they looking at me with disgust at how ugly you make me feel even though I am beautiful to most on the outside? Those tricks...those nasty lupus jedi mind tricks are a part of you that I despise just as much as the pain you present.

I often have to step out the lupus box and realize that it matters not if anyone else feels or see my pain. It only matters most that I am strong enough to pull through it.... That it really only matters how I beat you and move past it all to live and thrive beyond anything you put me through. It matters that I keep my mind positive enough to combat the negative you give and help you realize it doesn't stand a chance even in fleeting thought.

Lupus its not working today.  I'm stronger than your mightest fight and will fight you to YOUR death daily.

In complete strength,
Me