Renee King
Flight of the Butterfly
Pretty butterfly
With the broken wing
No one knows your pain
Or why you struggle to soar
But you trust in the wind
To help you navigate
On its back you travel
Sometimes to places
You don’t want to go
Where the sun is shadowed in gloom
And the air is too thick to breathe
And your wing is too stiff to move
So you settle down on a leaf
When the storm is over
You take to the wind again
This time your journey is nice
You arrive at the place
Where sugar and spice grow
The fragrance of love is in the air
And there’s a picnic blanket on the ground
It is a wonderful place to be
So you settle down for a while
Until the soft breeze comes again
Where will it take you next?
Only the wind knows
This poem represents my life. My name is Renee King. “I have Lupus, but it doesn’t have me. “ A few years ago I would not have been able to make that statement so boldly. I was diagnosed with Systemic Lupus Erythematosus (SLE) in July 2007, after being sick for three months. I had enjoyed my weekend off from work and was starting my new work week. Monday morning I was fine, but Tuesday I didn’t quite feel right and was running late for work. I arrived at work and went in to apologize to my boss for being late. When my boss asked me what happened I told her I wasn’t feeling well and I felt like I was dying. My boss laughed because she thought I was joking and told me to go to work. I sat there coughing constantly, but I was able to work the entire day. At the end of the workday, my boss came to say goodnight and that she would see me tomorrow. I never saw her again. April 3, 2007, I left work to never return. That cough turned out to be Interstitial Lung Disease, which is associated with Lupus. Over the next few months my condition worsened rapidly. I developed a low grade fever, inflammation of the joints and ulcers caused by Vasculitis. By July 2007 when I was diagnosed with Lupus, I had been hospitalized four times. I was placed on a high dosage of Prednisone. Prednisone was not the cure… In fact, there is no cure for Lupus. I suffered from the side effects accompanied with taking Prednisone. I developed High Blood Pressure, Diabetes and Osteoporosis. I was in a downward spiral. Over the next three years I was hospitalized fifteen times. I spent more time in the hospital than at home. This was extremely difficult because I was a single mother of four. I am very thankful for my mother. She left her home and moved into mine to take care of my children and me because Lupus rendered me helpless; I could do nothing on my own. My lungs condition was so poor that I required oxygen 24 hours a day. In September 2010, I was hospitalized once again. This time the doctors was sure it was my last. My vital signs had dropped and because of the condition of my lungs, the doctors felt if I needed to go on a respirator there was no chance of me ever getting off. The doctors presented me with a Do Not Resuscitate (DNR) because they felt that it would be best if I didn’t linger on. I cried. I was going to die and leave my four children behind. Then I became angry. I was angry because I felt the doctors had given up on me. I prayed. I asked God to allow me to live and see my children grow into adulthood. I mustered my strength, got dressed and left the hospital; against doctors advice. I began reading to learn as much as I possibly could about Lupus, at the same time I was weaning myself off of the medication. It is May 2013, and I am still here. I thank God for each day. My story is unique, but so is every other Lupus Warrior’s story. Lupus manifests itself differently for each warrior. The one thing that we all have in common is that we look forward to a cure.
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